Off Center

Master Shoka, you’re off your center. ~ Paladin, C.J. Cherryh.

Seriously off center the last two days. Very sad about Dear One. I’ve thought about her a lot going out to visit the horses – and how much I wish she was here. For me. Seriously, selfish.

Right now working Little Girl is using an electric can opener into my heart. Without the distraction of work or mindless chores to distract me how can I not love them all? When you start allowing yourself to feel things, it’s when you can’t hold it back any longer. When the dike starts to leak, nothing is going to hold it back.

When I got to the horse pasture, T-man and Little Girl came up to me. Especially, Tee was so sweet as he’s not a huggy-hug horse. He stood over me, touched his nose to my shoulder (“hey kid”) while I hugged him and told him how much I needed him. Girl crowded in for a group hug too (“I’m a part of this too!”).

I guess your heart has to fall before it can get back up. I’m doing some serious free falling.

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