Here is my Zen and BETTER ME goals:
1.) Others have opinions; I don’t need to correct them. As opinions they are valid; does this mean they are truths or facts of course not. However, they still have a right to that opinion.
2.) Other owners work their horses in a manner they think best (not talking abuse), and it may not be my method. That is okay.
Thankfully, since leaving the world of teaching riding, I no longer have to deal with students who want me to help them but then do everything opposite of what I stated for them to do. I am no longer in that ethical quandary thank God.
3.) Being corrected, criticized or critiqued can be extremely hard on the emotions. The riding lessons are helping me a lot in removing the personal.
I think we’ve all been where we want something so much that we end up in tears at the end. As Molly pointed out during my first, rather soggy lesson, I want it so bad that I end up screwing myself, and none of it has remained fun – which means it’s even harder to attain a child-like state of wonder.
4.) I’m starting to cope better with the emotions brought up when being undervalued by others. At one time or another (whether in horses or out) we’ve all had that feeling we have been completely ignored or maybe misunderstood. Learning to manage, or even better yet, diffuse these emotions in the first place is a top priority.
I think in the horse world this is especially bad. For example, I’ve been to many clinics where a Prima Donna took the majority of the instructor’s attention. For the rest of us quiet types, it’s a simmering sore point that usually boils over by the end.
Getting frustrated, angry and upset due to a lack of attention from clinic instructors, or being undervalued are emotions I certainly don’t want to experience if I spend the money and go overseas to the Hempfling clinics.
5.) Because I have reached a state of where I feel no need to correct other people, my quiet, receptive listening has now encouraged others to change the “shouting the loudest means I’m right” rule to “talking the most means I’m right” rule.
I am wondering where I need to go with this…? How much listening and letting them believe that I just fallen off the turnip truck before I speak up? Now, that I’ve swung this direction I need to gain back the balance of listening to speaking.