In teaching lessons, I got to meet a variety of people – mostly female -from very young children to senior citizens, who all had a love and fascination with horses. During that time, I also realized that our approach and relationship with horses is built upon how we deal with the people in our lives – and no matter how many lessons I give you, until you deal with The Elephant in the Room, nothing can help.
However, for whatever reason this “reality” is something every person will deny. Every person will say “that isn’t true for me” or “my explosive temper at work has nothing to do with why I excessively whip my horse” or “of course my children need me at all times, and I would ride if I could find the time” or “my childhood of neglect has nothing to do with why I collect too many animals.”
For example, one adult student I had was certainly a puzzle. On the surface she was successful and well adjusted, living in a nice home. Yet, every horse she would buy degenerated into the horse getting away with bloody murder, irregardless of how well trained they were before their arrival to her small farmette.
Once I started giving her lessons (instead of just a casual friendship), it became apparent that the relationships with her husband and two grown daughters was one of being stepped on, controlled, and treated like dirt. Her horses were just following suit.
We cannot divorce who we are from what we are when we work with our horses. When I listen and read Klaus Hempfling, I get the feeling he has this same frustration in trying to explain to his female clientele because he returns again and again to the authenticity of the horse.
While a girlfriend may just roll her eyes when you pick up the clothes your husband dumped all over the house, the horse will see and understand your place in the herd and treat you accordingly.
There’s a lot of junk out there about body language – meet the eyes of your horse – don’t meet the eyes of the horse – look at the hip – move here and do this… and though this may be valid – the paradox is that, in that in the long run, none of this is valid. Without knowing yourself, and being who you need to be, the horse-human relationship won’t be improving no matter what formuliac horse training, natural or otherwise, you follow.
People who are confident around their horses, move confidently.
People who are secure in who they are and what they expect, present an aura of competency and focus.
People who knows who they are (even with flaws) are a leader that a horse knows instinctively he can place his faith upon.
Horses have one goal in life – Survival. They do not put faith in leaders who will not spot and assess danger to the herd. People who deceive themselves and are not willing to examine their life, are completely unimportant to a horse.