My way of helping

I’ve given Z the week off due to her injury but will be starting her back this week to her life under saddle. It’s one reason I’ve been so quiet on the blog – the other being we were in the middle of the kids bathroom remodel (just laid a new tile floor and put in a new sink counter – still to finish the closet and walls).

I’ve also been enjoying the company of hubby who has been given an extra two days (in addition to the weekend) to be here in town by working from his laptop. Tuesday evening he leaves for Dallas to meet up with one of his bosses, returns home Friday, and will have a WHOLE WEEK! to be home for Thanksgiving, as they have given him permission to work remotely M-W on the laptop since Thursday and Friday are holidays. I am spoiled!

In preparation for Z getting back I’ve been reading and pondering more of Mark Russell’s Riding in Lightness book. I’ve been wanting to post some thoughts about my working with my horses, but have hesitated because while I understand what I’m thinking, it might come out in a confused jumble to you.

In the horse world, we all want to tell another what to do. It’s our natural “training” inclination, and I have to write, that in all honesty, I have no interest in telling you what to do! That may come across as disingenous since I have videos and explanations on the blog, but let me explain: those posts, photos and videos are for you to use, IF YOU WANT TOO, but in no ways criticizes others about what they are doing wrong or should be doing.

I don’t post photos of others riding and then make cruel remarks about their skills; I don’t link to video and say: this person sucks! I leave that to all the other experts on the Internet, most of which are so dumb (notice I don’t say who! LOL!) that they wouldn’t know a relationship with a horse if that said horse came and bit them on the ass.

I do not go to other blogs and post: “you need to sit up, leg back, blah blah blah” to anyone. I did that when I taught lessons and some students saw my wisdom and other students stabbed me in the back with a deep shank that left emotional and spiritual wounds for years due to their betrayal.

There is two ways my personality behaves when faced with opposition: I either annihilate that obstacle and completely overcome that roadblock, or I walk away. After what happened to me at the end of my lesson business, I decided to walk away from directly helping people ever again. I was manipulated and played – I could exact revenge (and trust me I had it in my power to do so), or wash my hands of it. I decided that for my own mental health washing hands of other people’s power trips was better.

About two summers ago, Molly told me I wouldn’t be able to keep to that. That I had a deep need to help people. Yes, I do have a need to teach and help others. I am not sure why but I have had that for most of my life. However, I also have a strong sense of survival and self-preservation and never again will I let outsiders get that close to me.

I simply have no interest in directly helping people ever again.

The videos, blog posts, and photos are here to help those who are interested; those who don’t find it helpful will wander away. In that way, the Internet has been a great teaching tool that allows me to preach and for those who hear something that helps, for them to walk away with that help with little inconvenience to me. Especially, now that I’ve turned off comments and voting on the Youtube videos! ROFLMAO!

So what has that all have to do with what I started with in this post? It’s about the purpose of the blog, my thought processes in why I post here, and how I intereact with my readers… You’ll see why I preface this information when I put up the next post….

This entry was posted in Essays, Mark Russell RIL, Rider Instruction, Trainers/ing, Z. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to My way of helping

  1. I get where you are coming from. Oh, yes I do! People suck in general.

    I appreciate your thoughts and you’ve suggested trainers that are new to me so I can learn more and expand my knowledge base. Thanks!

    • horseideology says:

      You’re welcome 🙂

      It’s not that I don’t want to help, and I have helped people, but I never help unless asked. For example, I’ve posted Youtube videos explaining something that people asked about – and answer questions about the videos there too.

      I also never help those that are too opposed to my way of doing things. It just doesn’t work for them. It’s just counter productive to them and me.

  2. Kathy says:

    I totally agree.

    In most things I do I have found it is best to stay away from the trainer’s mind. At times I have been the best person for a particular job, but at the same time I try to remember that I am always learning and I am not an expert. I do like what Carolyn Resnick says, to stay in the beginner’s mind and to keep the heart of a child.

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