For whatever reason, much stuff has been internally shifting this last month. I haven’t wanted to post about it because these emerging feelings are still very fragile.
When I started off the established path about 17 years ago, I’ve struggled to capture what I would call magic. I knew it existed because of a life changing relationship with a horse that happened those years ago, but it seemed to elude me.
Friends tried to advise me but in the end, I’ve realized that each person’s journey is a walk made by her own truth. For example, what makes sense to you will spring from your own past experiences, personal relationships, genetics and even how you were raised. It’s one reason why some trainers that speak to you, won’t speak to me and visa versa.
Especially, during Dear One’s illness and then death, something inside me retreated from giving full emotional contact with the horses. I was close to giving up as we battled through Big Guy’s major illness and lameness issues and Z’s intractability. The aggravation of boarding was overcoming my joy in seeing my horses.
About two months ago, I was reading one of Hempflings’ books and he stated: “You can be your horses problem or his solution.” Hmm I had for several weeks been growing more unhappy with Rugby Guy riding Z. I just felt we were going in the wrong direction. I could either give up on Z or help her. I had to trust my intuition and decided to let RG go and work on her myself.
I’ve already posted the how-to’s that I’ve been doing with the Masterson Method but what I haven’t posted about was that during our first session, time slowed way down. Z and I were enveloped in a bubble of stillness – both of us were quietly receptive, waiting yet listening all at the same time. It’s a hard thing to describe but I’m sure you have experienced something similar. It’s when time seems to stretch out but you are very much in the present. There is no rush, no goals, and no thoughts of the outside world.
During this time I started to realize Z’s inner nature and how difficult it was going to be for her to lay down her fighting nature. Even though she may seem to be outwardly compliant, inside she will have an instinctive resistance to any pressure or force. She will need to be first shown HOW to relax before I can expect her to access that state.
Since that time, I’ve been able to re-capture this slow sensitive, two way flow with Z and with two other horses that I worked using the MM. Doing this slow touch technique forces me away from my Type A personality and requires total focus on the minutae. It’s only through that laser beam, intent focus can I shut everything out and see inside my horse.
For the first time, I see the magic returning.